


hold onto me

by Alunala



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dissociation, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Reader-Insert, Soft Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 03:28:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29628420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alunala/pseuds/Alunala
Summary: You went through horrible things as a child and sometimes, it's a little hard for you to cope. Dimitri is there for you every step of the way.(Read the notes)
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Reader
Kudos: 14





	hold onto me

**Author's Note:**

> Just as a warning, this fic does contain brief mentions of csa, however, it is meant to be Dimitri comforting the reader after something reminds them of what happened.

You were sitting on the carpeted floor, nails digging into your stomach as you stared at the wall. The memories were coming back to you in waves, and you couldn’t stop thinking about what they had done to you as a kid. It felt as though you were a lamp; they had shattered you into a million pieces and never bothered to pick you up.

The memories of the trauma were so hard for you to remember. When you tried to think about what had happened, parts were completely missing. Like a puzzle where half the pieces had simply vanished into thin air, your memory was fragmented and out-of-order. 

Whenever you thought about how they had  _ violated  _ you, your mind was left blank for hours on end. The thoughts crashed in on each other, like a train that had fallen off the rails. Nothing you did would stop the thoughts from piling up on one another, and they left you incapacitated for hours. 

When that man had honked at you on your walk home, you had felt the tears pile up in your eyes. It had reminded you of so many horrific memories that you wanted to bury beneath the surface, thoughts that you never imagined would continue to haunt you. However, they did, and you wanted nothing more than to bury them away.

Nothing you did could bury the memories of your childhood away. At every possible moment, strange hands would force themselves onto your body, forcing you to do things no one should ever have to do. At the best of times, these memories were hazy and impossible to reach, but at the worst, they felt so fresh that it was so hard for you to move. 

Today, unfortunately, was one of those days. You didn’t know how long you had been staring at the wall for, but it was definitely more than an hour, judging by the change in the amount of light coming in from the window. An hour, and yet those memories continued circulating through your mind, like one of those whirlpools that you feared so fervently as a child. 

Your mind was so focused on the memories that you didn’t hear Dimitri come home. Usually when he came home, he would announce his presence with a loud, “ _ I’m home!” _ but you somehow missed that completely. You didn’t even know he was home until he appeared in your field of vision, a look of concern on his angular face. 

“(Y/N)? What happened?” Dimitri asked. 

There were so many things that you wanted to say, however, none of the words left your tongue. The only thing that you felt was the nausea broiling in your stomach. 

“I’m going to touch you, okay (Y/N),” Dimitri said. 

Dimitri had gone through his own turmoil throughout his life. A car accident at the age of 15 had left him an orphan, completely blind in one eye, and a bunch of trauma that he had to work through. There was so much of it- from the feelings of responsibility that claimed him to the grieve that clutched onto his heart and refused to let go.

Eventually, after several years of therapy and support from friends, he had eventually worked through most of it. There were times when he heard voices in his head, however, he had a support network great enough to allow him to cope with said voices.

The two of you had met after being introduced by a mutual friend, Mercedes. The two of you had hit it off quickly, and you had become a couple soon after that. You had been dating for over a year now and your relationship had been smooth sailing for most of that, with the occasional conflict that was resolved with minimal effort. 

There had been several times when he had found you like this. The first time, he had been rather confused and didn’t know what to do. He had been too scared to approach you, so he had attempted to calm you down from a distance.

After that had happened, you pulled him aside and told him that it helped a lot if someone initiated physical contact with you, given that you knew they were going to approach you. You told him that you really appreciated when he said calming things. He didn’t know what had happened to you, but he wanted to help you regardless.

Eventually, you opened up to him about what you had gone through. He had sat there, with his mouth agape, trying not to weep for you, as you slowly counted on your hands the number of people that had done this to you. With each finger pushed down, he looked more and more concerned. By the end of it, the two of you were emotional, and you were crying into his shirt. 

After that, it made more sense to him as to why you would spend hours upon hours staring at the wall, dissociating. He had gone through something similar right after the car accident, however, through the combination of social support and medication, he rarely experienced such spells. You only remembered him experiencing such a thing once and that was one of the scariest moments of your life. 

You flinched as he placed both of his arms around your back and a small squeal of shock escaped your lips. His one eye met your own and he slowly lifted you into a standing position and slowly brought you to the nearest couch.

Slowly, you could feel the flashback begin to diminish. While it was extremely strong before, it had weakened slightly in intensity and the trauma of your past began to hurt slightly less. Dimitri shot you a look of empathy as he ran his warm and soft hand through your hair. “It’s going to be okay, (Y/N). I’m here for you and I’m not going to leave you.”

Hearing that made you burst into tears. You had a few past relationships and while they had said the same thing to you, they had eventually left you, whether it was due to lack of interest, your mental health, or even them using you and growing bored. Dimitri was different. He had seen you at your lowest and he had held you and refused to let go. He never treated you horribly and whenever you needed space, he would willingly give you the space that you needed.

As you cried, Dimitri pulled you into your chest. He was talking to you, “Focus on my heartbeat, okay (Y/N).”

And so you did. You could feel his chest move up and down with each breath he took and the familiar ‘lub-dub’ sound of the cuspid, then mitral valves in his heart opening and closing. You felt the familiar vibrations of his chest as he hummed you a song, a song that made you feel oddly nostalgic and comfortable. You felt so warm, so comfortable, and you never wanted to leave. 

That was, until you realized that the cat was scratching at the couch again. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading. This was pretty heavy, so make sure you have something to drink and take some time to debrief. I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
